I can still feel the boredom of riding in “the middle” of the back seat of my parents’ 1974 orange Datsun–without a car seat or even seat belt because they weren’t yet the law, let alone, safety features–and whining, “are we there yet?” and 30-seconds later, “when are we going to be there!”
“In a little while,” my parents assured me.
Then, what seemed like an hour later–but which was probably eight minutes later–I’d ask again, this time with sing-songy cadence, “when are we going to be there?” This whining and pestering would continue at least a half a dozen more times.
When they were fed up with the repetitive questioning, my parents would engage me in games of “20 Questions” or “I Spy” until I was spent. Then I’d sprawl out across the back seat–no seatbelt laws or siblings afforded great comfort–and take a nap until we finally got “there.”
Today, with DVD players for those long car trips, SMS for doctors’ waiting rooms and CNN at airport gates, Digital Natives never experience boredom. “Always on” is their way of life. Life is faster-paced, days are jam-packed and the Internet never sleeps.
At Digital Media Wire’s NY Games Conference a few weeks ago, I heard a panel of teens talk about how they play certain video games–mostly the old arcade games like Mario Brothers that we found invigorating and competitive–to relax. 97% of teens game. It’s common for teens to game 2 1/2 hours per day. They watch less than 1/2 hour of TV per day. Interactive is their way of life…and their way of rest. Their brains are wired differently. Maybe they don’t need the “veg” time that we Digital Immigrants still crave.
Today, withister bopping to Hannah Montana on her iPod, brother watching Shrek on the portable DVD player and dad working on his laptop while mom drives, there is no time for–no need for–“passing the time” with the mundane family banter and games that helped us to survive these car trips when we were kids. Digital Natives’ memories of car trips will be neutral, if nonexistent. They won’t remember that “that was the car trip when I watched Shrek,” because that was probably the 24th time they watched that movie.
Though the long car trips that we grew up with were annoying at the time, they were terrific family bonding experiences, just like (well, actually not really at all like) Chevy Chase’s movie, National Lampoon’s Vacation, and its sequels. I wonder how today’s lack impromptu, undefined cartrip dialogue is changing the connections between family members. Perhaps it’s alienating, perhaps it’s a relief from forced togetherness in tight quarters.
But what about the truth of the saying, “it’s about the journey, not the destination”? I feel torn about the rules I create for my own children about the ambient time of the journey. On one hand, I feel that they should “suffer” like I did and learn to occupy themselves with their own thoughts and time together with me, my husband and each other (and perhaps because I secretly have fond memories of the laughs that my parents and had from reading aloud the sides of trucks on I-95). On the other hand, why should they pass their time listlessly or with mundane chatter when MP3s and the mobile Web provide more engaging, entertaining and educational ways to occupy themselves?
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I struggle with the very same issue during our car rides to visit family. On the one hand, listening to music (played over the car radio for everyone to share) or observing the world zipping by are (were?) the trademarks of the kids-eye view of car rides. On the other hand, why not indulge them with today’s entertainment options? I find that we strike a balance between watching part of movie, but only part-way in to the trip. This gives the kids the opportunity to use their imaginations while only being entertained part of the time.
However, my oldest (5yo) already “games” using her Leapster – and has learned more about animals, art, and eye-hand coordination than I ever would have imagined. I can only think that her first “DS” isn’t too far away (which I’m bound to steal more than once in a while). If they’re learning while gaming…can I really deny them that?? Ah, the journey of parents… 😉
Thanks for your comments, mrmerlot. Glad I’m not alone in this parenting conflict! Friends told me last evening that they manage long (I mean like 16 hour long!) car rides by switching activities (looking for cities on a map, having a snack, listening to music, etc.) for their kids every 15 minutes. Very labor-intensive for parents, but apparently keeps today’s multitasking, multimedia kids happy and entertained and the ride zips by.
Whether regarding technology, education, religion, or whatever, one of the biggest challenges for today’s parents is choosing to what extent we want our children’s upbringings to mirror our own, and to what extent we want to prepare them for the day and age in which they’re living. The latter takes more work and more deliberate actions because it requires leadership amidst the unknown.
I don’t believe that, in aggregate, our parents’ or grandparents’ generations had as much of a stark contrast between the world in which they grew up and the world in which their children were growing up. The exponential rate of technological change puts us in today’s dichotomous situation.
I could completely relate (except for the seatbelt part – my dad was enforcing the seatbelt law before long before it was the norm. I have to thank him for being so strict because to this day, being in a car just doesn’t feel right unless the seatbelt is on). Anyway, growing up with a younger brother (and being the instigator that I was),our family would always take long car rides and we would try to pass the time by getting on each other’s neves. I sat in the back right seat and my brother would sit on the left side. It was almost guaranteed that we would get into some kind of petty altercation during these insanely long trips (honestly, they could have been 1 hour long for all I knew). I didn’t know what was in my stupid head for ever choosing the “right rifle” position. I say this because I was in DIRECT range of a fed up father who had this insane ability to keep one hand on the steering wheel while managing to completely turn around and grab me with the other hand. He would scare the bejesus out of me to say the least. All along, my brother was free and clear from the mayhem that was happening on my side and would simply be laughing while hiding in his little corner of the car. Oh, he got his when the car finally stopped. We were bored, but it was fun. Car bingo, license plate bingo, and “Yes & No” books with the invisible ink markers kept us busy. These days, I really don’t see these things flying anymore. I would have killed to be able to watch the Muppet Show on an iPod. Portable DVD players? PSP? C’mon!
These days, with my son, car rides are fun because we are always on the lookout for trains, diggers, buses, and any other kind of vehicle that he has a smaller version of at home. The other day, we went on a 2-hour car ride and there were absolutely no complaints. When we got home after the 2 hour ride back and pulled into the driveway, he actually wanted more driving. So, for the next 30 minutes I had to drive in circles to satisfy his need to explore from the back seat. The nerve, right? I had to laugh as I pulled out of the driveway once again. When we got home the second time, he gladly got out of the car with no complaints.
I will definitely be riding this wave as long as I can while holding off on the introduction of electronics to make the journey easier. It is not really necessary, although today’s cars throw it in your face and before we know it, televisions in cars will be standard and children will never remember a time when they DIDN’T exist. That’s strange to imagine. Today’s kids need to know how people traveled for the past 100 years…………with nothing except their thoughts, imagination, and even some music. Good old Jebadiah would have loved to have thrown a little “Grease 2” on in the back of his horse drawn buggy and bop around to “Cool Rider” or “Let’s Bowl”(i’m sure he would have enjoyed it more than that sub par attempt of a movie, “Grease”). I could tell you one thing, if they still make those “Yes & No” books – you know who will be on line to get a gross of them……………me.
Mr. Crystal :), thank you for adding to the discussion. Your childhood car rides sound like activities in and of themselves! See, I’m not sure it’s a BAD thing that the next generation will only know a world in which cars have TVs, etc. We don’t think they should have to watch and appreciate black and white TV, do we? Some things become obsolete and I think it’s okay to let them go. I do, however, believe that everyone has a proclivity for the future, the present or the past — none is wrong, just different orientation. Mine is most certainly for the future!